Your Tardy Friends SUCK.

Tardiness is not an insignificant quirk.

 

Tardiness is among the most disrespectful behaviors that you can bestow upon your fellow man.

A lecture in tardiness

When you are habitually late for me.... you are telling me "I don't respect you. F*$K you". Whether you intend to tell me that or not. That is the message that you send to me when you are habitually late. So what does habitually late mean? 

Being late once or more times per week for anything! Meaning if you have 80 things to do this week and you're on time for 79 of them and then next week you have 100 things to do and you're on time for 99 of them... you're habitually late. 

I know this sounds ridiculous to you ...doesn't it? That's why you're always late.

Acceptable rate of tardiness

So, what is an acceptable rate of tardiness? How often are you allowed to be late? And you are allowed to be late because we are human beings and things happen. You are allowed to be late for anything once per month. Not once for work and once for a friend. You are allowed to be late once a month for everything.

For your friends, for specific human beings you are allowed to be late once per year. If you are a punctual person then you are late only once per month and once per year per individual. It sounds ridiculous but that is why you're always late.

If you are meeting me 5 minutes late is not late. I will allow you to be 5 minutes late and I won't consider that late. 6 minutes and you've burned through your year but 5 minutes late like the movie Drive you're good.

For myself I don't allow myself to be 5 minutes late. If I'm 5 minutes late, I'm late in my mind.

The principles of punctuality
"Okay. So how do we do it"

How are punctual people punctual? We're not born that way. It's not something that comes natural to us. It's work. Just like any other achievement. Just like anything that you care about its work and sacrifice and consideration of others, but it boils down also to simple principles.

Principle 1: Estimated duration of travel

Don't base your ETA off of google if you are going at a different time. So many people have told me that its only a 15 minute drive from their place to the location we are meeting at when talking in the morning and when we have to meet up at rush hour the time doubles causing them to be late.

They will think that they have time to dilly dally to find/put on their shoes and find their wallet then their keys etc. but they don't realize that the time of day changes your ETA.

Principle 2: Kill time ONLY at your destination

When you give yourself enough time to get there you will often kill too much time and then you're going to be late. The principle for killing time is you cannot kill time until you've arrived at your destination and parked. You have to be at your destination before you're allowed to kill time. It's that simple.

Principle 3: Meet at a specific place

When making arrangements meet at a specific place unless it's totally obvious like at your house or something. But if you are meeting at Yankee Stadium don't just say I'll meet you at Yankee Stadium. Pick a specific place you know. For instance the ticket booth or at a certain concession stand.

Principle 4: No communication during commute

You will have a late person say "I'm going to be 40 minutes..." "I'm going to be 10 minutes late" and then "I'm going to be 30 minutes late" all while they are driving. They will then apologies saying sorry sorry sorry I'm running late. Listen. You must reach that person before they've left and I mean reach if you are going to be late. Sent doesn't mean receive. Not texting them but texting them and receiving "Roger got your message" or call them. The other person might not be on their phone when driving so it would be nice for them to know beforehand as it might even help them out too!

Principle 5: Your excuses are your own

It doesn't matter that there is traffic. It doesn't matter that your phone died or that you had something come up at work or that you have kids and they were being slow which made you become late. Own up to it that you are making excuses to why YOU were late. 

Principle 6: Be a cop

Be the one that is on time. If the person you are going with isn't ready just go take separate cars. Tell them to meet you there or catch an Uber. You want to have a departure time that's set in stone that says you have to leave by such and such. 

Principle 7: Allowances

There are some things you don't have to be on time for: if a person is hosting your for dinner at their house. It is polite to arrive 10 minutes after the stated time for dinner and it's impolite to arrive early for dinner because they might be vacuuming in their underwear. Parties: You can get to parties whenever you want. You can get there 5 minutes before everybody leaves unless it's a surprise party. Then you have to be absolutely punctual to not spoil the surprise and God help you if you spoil a surprise party. Now if you're going to a dinner part that says drinks at 7 and meal at 9. You don't have to be there in time for the drinks but you got to be there in time for the meal because you know everybody's sitting at the table. You don't want them waiting for you.

The book of etiquette by Emily Post

Aren't around a bunch of rich and sophisticated people and would like to see/learn how they behave? This is the book you want to check out. Emily Post didn't write the book initially for this reason at all instead its sort of a code of behavior to be among the best society. I have used this book as a manual for etiquette when growing up and will make you shine above the rest especially in the modern world we live in today.