The Journey from First Date to Marriage: Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating

Whether you're starting over, just beginning to date, or pursuing a relationship with someone special, the journey from the first date to marriage is full of unknowns.

Dating can be confusing, painful, and challenging, but the greatest reward is finding a soul mate and building a life together. I’ll share the five stages that couples go through to create lasting love and highlight the common mistakes men and women make at each stage — from Attraction to Engagement — so you’ll know what to do instead.

How Do You Find a Soul Mate?

The first step in finding love is to stop actively looking for it. Surprising, right? Instead, focus on yourself first. Love yourself. Prepare yourself so that when your soul mate arrives, you’re ready. Decide to become so big and important and strong and irreplicable first.

How Do You Know When Someone Is Right for You?

Moving through my 5 Stages of Dating gives you the ability to “just know” when the right person enters your life. It also helps you recognize when you're with the wrong person. True soul mates aren’t perfect, but when your heart is open, they’re perfect for you.

What Are the 5 Stages of Dating?

Understanding the five stages of dating can help you better navigate the dating world and find the right partner for you. Let’s dive into each stage, but remember, my document, Unlocking Natural Confidence with Women, goes into greater detail with real examples and strategies for navigating the dating scene.

Stage One: Attraction

The key to the Attraction Stage is to stay true to who you are while expressing your best and most positive self. This can be tricky because we often forget how our language and behavior may be misinterpreted.

Tips for Women: Many women assume that the more they listen to a man with great interest, the more he will be interested in listening to them. Unfortunately, the more a man talks, the more he becomes interested in what he is talking about — and stops thinking about her. Women should do more of the talking and share themselves in a positive manner. Avoid dwelling on negative feelings or problems, as he may assume you’re difficult to please.

Tips for Men: Men should make women feel special by noticing them, initiating eye contact, and giving sincere compliments. Women are attracted to men who show interest in them, so take the time to ask questions, listen, and get to know her rather than talking about yourself or offering advice.

The challenge during this stage is to make sure you both get the opportunity to express your attraction and get to know each other.

Stage Two: Uncertainty

While the first stage is about meeting and getting to know a variety of people, the second stage focuses on one person and giving that relationship a chance to grow. Men and women experience uncertainty differently.

Uncertainty for Him: Men tend to question whether they want to pursue the relationship or continue seeing other women. They may like someone but still question if she can give him what he wants. Men should ask themselves: Could I be the right man for her? Do I care for her? Do I want to make her happy? Do I miss her when we are apart?

Uncertainty for Her: Women often focus on where the relationship is going and may feel insecure if they sense the man pulling away. When a man comes on strong initially and then pulls back, women might feel like chasing him or giving him more, which can sabotage the relationship. Instead, seek support from friends and give yourself time and space to think about whether he is the right person for an exclusive relationship. The same goes with Men continuously coming on strong all the time they will get the wrong idea and run away.

The challenge here is to recognize that uncertainty is a normal part of the dating process.

Stage Three: Exclusivity

This stage begins when both people want to date each other exclusively. It’s important to have a conversation and make a commitment to stop seeing other people. Don’t assume exclusivity without talking about it.

Exclusivity for Him: Men can become complacent and stop doing the things that made them attractive initially. It’s essential to continue planning romantic dates and exploring what she likes.

Exclusivity for Her: Women often assume men will start doing things without being asked. However, requests encourage men to continue giving. Women should continue receiving his efforts with positive responses.

The challenge in this stage is to avoid becoming too comfortable and to continue doing the little things that make the other person feel special.

Stage Four: Intimacy

This stage is about deepening your connection on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels. It’s a lifelong journey of getting to know each other more intimately.

Tips for Men: Understand that women’s emotions can rise and fall like a wave. When her wave crashes, don’t take it personally. Just listen and provide empathy. Don't provide ANY solution to a woman. They just want you to listen.

Tips for Women: Understand that men may need to pull away and have some distance, much like a rubber band. This is normal and his love will grow as he experiences missing you and wanting to be close again.

The challenge during this stage is to understand how each person handles intimacy and to give them what they need when they need it.

Stage Five: Engagement

The final stage happens when the couple decides to make the ultimate commitment and get married. It’s a time to build a life and make future plans together. Engagement is the best time to practice the skills of apologizing and forgiving, which are essential for a lasting marriage.

The Bottom Line:

It’s important to respect all 5 Stages of Dating. Sometimes, couples skip stages, but this can hinder their ability to build a strong foundation. Throughout the dating process, remember that he should pursue, and she should create opportunities to be pursued. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and a sacred promise that goes deeper than dating, marking a new stage of life.